I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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