Just fell off a train. Bad.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize