Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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