Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
