"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
