Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
