Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
