I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
