Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
