Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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