i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
did you just send me my own nude
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
