Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
