This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
