I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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