does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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