I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
