but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
