You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
