I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
