just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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