I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
