butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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