who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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