I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
from now on my penis is your penis
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
