his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Holy shit dude........stairs
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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