Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The Olympian is in my bed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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