You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
