we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
