Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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