He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
