More tranny stories later!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
