You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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