Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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