Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
