No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
