This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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