the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize