I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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