But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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