I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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