I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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