I wanna bring you to show and tell
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You made out with two different species that night
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
