After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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