how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
