This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
