i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
