she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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