I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
