What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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