It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
