i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
