so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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