Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
