girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
