Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
