I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
