you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
