So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
