so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize