i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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